Friends, close friends, church mates, boyfriend, and family – I have those. Hindi naman ganun kadami ang kaibigan ko, hindi perfect ang boyfriend ko, at hindi din kumpleto ang pamilya ko pero masaya ako and I know that they are gifts from above. But I don’t know, is it just me? Or do you also sometimes feel like you are lonely? Depress? Left alone? Broken? Because sometimes, I honestly do. Yung kahit wala ka namang problema, feeling mo ang bigat bigat ng mundo mo, inangkin mo na lahat ng problema sa mundo. Makarinig ka lang ng sad songs, feeling mo para sayo na yung tugtog. Yung nagkaroon lang ng time na mag isa ka, feeling mo wala nang naka alala sayo, feeling mo napag iwanan ka na, feeling mo walang nag mamahal sayo. And the added stress of a busy life only made things worse.

I don’t know why. I don’t know how. I just feel lonely. Like everyone else is better friends with each other than they are with me. Like they have more fun. Like I don’t really belong in this circle or that discussion. Like I’m on a totally different wavelength. Yan yung mga pag kakataon na gustong gusto ng kaaway. Lahat ng yan si Satan ang nag iinject sa atin but it was never God’s will that we should be alone.

God’s Word tells me I am loved. It tells me that I and those whom I am with were chosen from before the foundation of the world. For every lie that Satan comes with I can cling to God’s Word and believe that it is not His will for me to feel lonely. God will help me. And maybe most importantly God’s Word tells me that if “we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” Regardless of the lies Satan tells me, I know the Bible is true. That is my first realization. Ngayong alam ko na hindi din gusto ng Lord na nagkakaganito ako. So now, anong dapat kong gawin? How can I escape from this?

“Trust Me.”

Yan yung mga salitang nakuha ko habang tinatanong ko yung sa sarili ko. God is good. And I am never alone. There are countless verses of His love. He is faithful. He loves me. He is always there for me even if I feel I have nobody else. This is a huge and hard battle. Gagawin lahat ng kaaway para mag doubt ako sa sarili ko, at ma iinject niya sakin yung mga lies niya. But the good thing about it is, these are just more of his lies. God’s Word is true. Often when I stand in the midst of a group of friends and the waves of loneliness are crashing around me I pray to God with all of my heart. And He hears me. Napaka laki at lawak ng pag mamahal sa akin ng Lord. Sa isang yakap lang Niya sa akin, kayang kaya Niyang alisin yung pagiging malungkot ko. Prayer. It is a simple thing to do. But often overlooked. And having Him there to comfort and guide me, when my feelings try to tell me that no one else will, is a help beyond measure.

And another realization and take away I wanted to share is, though these periods of loneliness were bleak and difficult, I can now see how God used them to increase my dependence on Him. I have discovered that there is value in times of solitude because in these quiet moments of despair we can choose to run into the arms of our Heavenly Father and openly cry out to Him over the turmoil within our hearts. God hears our misery and sees us even when we feel unnoticed. We can take comfort in the knowledge that Jesus, being fully God and fully man, experienced the ultimate feeling of isolation. He was forsaken by the Father on the cross, so we never have to be. So kung na fifeel mo na nalulungkot ka, just run towards God and He will welcome and comfort you with open arms.

Periods of isolation can be used to bring glory to God if we intentionally use them to draw near to Him and be filled with the Holy Spirit. Gagamitin ng kaaway ang situasyon na ito to fill our heads with lies, but we need to refuse those lies by opening the Word and speaking the truth of the One to whom we belong. May we depend on God to sustain us for He cares for us and promises to never leave us alone.

Ayokong maging impokrito, oo, kahit ngayon, minsan tinatry pa rin pasukin ng kaaway yung utak ko at una niyang tinira ang emotions ko dahil alam niyang doon ako mahina. Pero alam ko na ang mga promises sa akin ng Lord, at dahil gusto kong iemphasize ito uulitiin ko ulit yung sinabi ko kanina na He is a faithful God. And I will continue to hang on to His promises lalo na’t alam ko na ang armas na pan dipensa ko - Pray and trust God. We are victorious and we are never alone.